In human relationships, there are two categories of people: X and Y.
Where X is the “simple” type of people and Y the “complex”. And since opposites attract, X will get involved with Y. And then, an equation is created, which in the end it will be proved impossible, with a whole series of scenarios and known factors, but an unknown: the truth.
A meeting that does not get the expected and the desirable road is enough to see ourselves as stars in an ancient drama since you can find a lot of reasons why this relationship should have gone ahead, but no one to the contrary. You are wondering if you did something wrong, and while you have not yet decided yourself what you find in this woman so that you want so much to call you again, you choose to spend on clearing why she does not.
You do not feel this enthusiasm that you should have with a new meeting, as the doubts and anxiety overwhelm you as you waiting to see her number on the screen of your cell phone again. You check every recent check-in of her, every like she gives and when she was active on Facebook.
You do not hear anyone’s opinion, except the worst counselor at the moment: your vulnerable self. This self who listens to a thousand of voices, as well as the excuses invented by your sick mind and finally, it chooses to hear anything other than the honest voice.
She may need time. She may have a lot in her head and that’s why she didn’t call you for six months. But, in her head, she doesn’t have you. In the end, she may have her cell phone closed. Maybe Facebook did not show your birthday to her and that’s why she did not wish you. Maybe Mark is against this relationship, who knows?
The smoke that you are now seeing in the atmosphere is not from the misty landscape. Is from your head, as your brain works overtime to find your own answers to questions that have already been answered by the events themselves, just not as you would like.
There are millions of reasons for her not to call you again, but obviously, no one to do it. Your frequencies may not match, or maybe you were asking for more than she could give. Get your act together. Do not go crazy and put your selfishness into mute which now accepts an endless fire and finds shelter behind the impenetrable range of excuse.
She did not sign a cohabitation agreement, she was not the princess or a fairy of the fairy tale. At least, not your own fairy tale. You went out with her, you talked, but unfortunately, your relationship didn’t work. Enough with the science fiction scenarios. Open your eyes, see, judge and act. Things are simple. There is only black and white. “She doesn’t like you.” And you always insist not to see what you must see but what you want to see!
You may ride on a stretched rope, but my friend, the woman you are seeing at the opposite end waiting for you is nothing but an illusion that sooner or later it will cut the rope and your landing will be so steep that you will hardly get back at your feet. No illusion is going to overturn reality and no rejection is going to determine your value and call your personal life a “fail.” In order to find what ultimately suits you, you must first come up against what does not suit you.
Do not wait for the phone to ring, or for the bell to hit unexpectedly in the midnight. You were one more chapter in her book, which has begun and ended on the title. As long as you’re wondering if she left you, you’ve already known it. It hurts, I know. But the truth always hurts, doesn’t it?
In every relationship, the steps must be forward. Neither standing nor backward. If something is going to move forward, it will start from the beginning. Now if enough pushing is needed to happen, then it is probably defective and in the future, it will show up so many problems that inevitably will sometime go for a withdrawal.
Stop investing your energy, time and feelings in non-existent situations. If you need to analyze fifteen scenarios to find out if she is interested or not, then she is not interested.
Human relationships are not complicated. We are complex associations of wounds and insecurities. When things are simple, go on. When things are complicated, turn around and go away. There is no battle when only one side fights, but it is certainly a painful defeat. Yours.
And may Penelope waited two decades for her husband Odysseus to return to Ithaca, but you are not Penelope. You are Odysseus. Your Ithaca is not far away. You just keep the map upside down.