Recently, we saw Lindsay Lohan and her Russian billionaire fiance have physical fight.
In such a case, anyone can say that she must leave him. But is something rare for women to divorce their men because they are hitting them and as you can read here, Lindsay Lohan is not thinking to divorce him, but the opposite, as she said “No woman can be hit and stay with that person if that person isn’t prepared to say sorry“. So, if he say sorry, she will forgive him.
This reminds me of a woman I used to know, let’s call her Eva. She had a boyfriend that time and he was hitting her sometimes. But when she left him, she couldn’t kept herself away from him. So, after only one day, she sent him a message that she want to talk about it. When they met, he kissed her and they spent the night together. She couldn’t left him, he had something that made her want him.
As I said, this is not something rare. Many women had been hit by their boyfriend and they are not leaving them and this has to do with manipulation. But back then, I didn’t knew a lot about psychology. Some years later, I read about an experiment with a pigeon and explains a lot about this type of manipulation some people do. So, understanding this human trait will get you what you want from a woman.
Psychologists call this “intermittent reinforcement” and gives us an insight into human nature as is one of the most powerful traits of our nature.
Let’s see the experiment (I couldn’t find the one I read about, but this one is close enough)
In this experiment, there is a pigeon in a cage, with a button it can peck on to get food. This mechanism with the food acts as a reward, or reinforcement, for its pecking. You would assume that the more often the pigeon gets food, the more often it would peck the button. But this didn’t turn out to be the case.
When the pigeon never got food as a reinforcement, it stopped pecking the button altogether. Second, when the pigeon got the food every time it pecked the button, it only pecked the button a moderate number of times. And finally, and this is the most important part of the experiment, when the pigeon got the food reinforcement intermittently (that is, sometimes it got the food reward for pecking the button, and sometimes it got no reward for pecking), it pecked the button like crazy, frantically and incessantly.
The researchers believe that this intermittent reinforcement is the strongest motivator for getting the behavior they wanted from the pigeon. When you compare the pigeon experiment with my friend Eva, you’ll see a striking parallelism between the two. This parallelism provides us with the key on why women can’t leave these men.
The key is that people always want what they can’t easily have. Women know that any nice guy can always be good with them, they know that they can have any nice guy any time they want. And even the pseudo-PUAs can’t hide this to a woman, women know that their appearance was the key to approach them and your body language can show your intentions to them (even if you try to hide it with some techniques or lines) .
A man who hit his woman, uses intermittent reinforcement on her. He uses the so called “Push-Pull” like a pro. One moment he treat her like a queen (kisses, hugs, good sex etc) and the next moment he hits her. So the woman never know whether she could have him or not.
So, if you treat a woman every time you see her like a queen, you give her reinforcement. If you stop sometimes giving her reinforcement (and by this, I don’t mean to hit her – never hit a woman, you can do this by being cold with her sometimes), keeping a pattern of sporadic reinforcement, you can kept her acting like the pigeon and lead her to want desperately what she feel she can not have, you.