What is self improvement?
If you are into the Pickup community, you can see that every now and then more and more products are being released about self improvement. And I don’t mean to avoid reading them, they can help you. However, they are not always the best tool to help you improve yourself.
Let’s see how they try to help you. Most of these books tells you to just be yourself, to have confidence and no fear, etc. You will also read the same tips in forums and blogs.
However, the problem here is when someone is shy. How can a shy man be himself? You have being yourself for so many years and still you can’t see the results you are looking for.
I can help you by telling you how to be yourself and have confidence in what you are doing.
Imagine yourself driving a car, listening to your favorite song. What are you going to do? Of course you will sing it, right?
Fine. But now, imagine that there is a beautiful woman sitting next to you. Will you sing this song? No? Why? Maybe you don’t like the sound of your voice. Or you maybe feel shame. However, this is how to be yourself.
When you are alone you are comfortable, but when you are in front of others, you are not. This is the ‘be yourself’ in reality, but it takes a lot of work to master and improve it.
Let’s think about this by using an example. Let’s say that you are with your male friends and you say jokes and have fun. But in a while, a beautiful woman comes and sits next to you. You will do the same? You continue telling jokes or you sit there quietly, avoid telling something that makes you embarrassed?
Here is another example (the last, I promise). Let’s say that you’re going to a bar with your friend. Before you get there, you are driving your car. Suddenly, another car gets in front of you, cutting your way. You just wait for him to move and you don’t say anything. because you don’t want to feel bad all the night. “If John was here, he would teach him a lesson, he’s not afraid of anything” you think.
Finally, you are in the bar and you wait for the waiter. The waiter sees you, but he does not come. “Have patience,” you think. Anyway, after some time, you order your drink and when you pay for it, you see that you got the wrong change. You want to tell him, but something stops you.
Then you notice a beautiful girl and you think that she’s cute and you want to go and talk to her. But, on a second thought, you think that she will reject you.
But the truth is that you already rejected yourself 3 times that night. You stopped yourself from doing what you wanted to do.
This courage, to have self-confidence so you can say or do what you want to do, is what you need to improve.
But how can you improve yourself? It’s not easy to change your old habits but with time and effort, you can change anything you want on you.
Imagine that you want to learn kick boxing. Do you think that you can learn it simply by reading a few books about it or by just watching some videos on YouTube and then you can enter in an arena and have a fight?
No. You don’t have the strength, the experience and the confidence to do that. You have to start working on your self first and over time, you will see some improvements on you. And as the time passes, you will start doing some things automatically, without even think about them. Then, you may start learning a bit more about this and why not, expanding your knowledge and in other areas.
This is the true self improvement and as Bruce Lee once said, ‘it is not right to focus on a technique alone but in many, so when the mind stuck, to find other techniques to solve the problem’.
That’s the difference of reading something and believing that you know it, by really knowing it. I’m not saying that you don’t have to read anything and by simply doing something, it will become your second nature. But you can learn the basics and then go out and continue learning more about.
This blog’s articles will cover you as well. You will see that when you get better and you will not be afraid to say your opinion, you will also get respect. And by women and by other men.
See, you don’t have to act like a ‘bad boy’ in order to get a girl. Just have solid confidence to say what you want to say, this thing alone can make you seem like a bad boy. Nature have already ‘pre-installed’ in our brains how to talk, date and have sex with women, so let your be free by fears and let nature do its work.
Remember, self-confidence doesn’t come instantly. It comes with time and with hard work.